I see this construction worker, right? And he's got this jackhammer, and he's going at it like he's trying to dig to the center of the Earth.

 I see this construction worker, right? And he's got this jackhammer, and he's going at it like he's trying to dig to the center of the Earth. The noise, I tell ya, it was like a thousand angry squirrels tap-dancing on a tin roof.

But here's the kicker. Right next to him, looking all fabulous, is this woman. She's got on this elegant black dress, sky-high heels, and a designer handbag that probably costs more than my car. And she's just standing there, completely unfazed by the chaos. She's got this smug little smile on her face, like she's judging him.

And I'm thinking, "What is happening here?" Is she his boss? Is she his wife who's finally had enough? Is she just really, really into ASMR and this is her idea of a relaxing soundtrack?

Because let me tell you, the only thing that jackhammer and that woman have in common is that they both look like they're about to break something. The jackhammer is going to break the pavement, and that woman's heels are going to break my spirit if I have to walk behind her in a crowded room.

And you know what? I bet she's on her way to a yoga class. "Namaste, motherf***ers!" she's probably thinking, while this poor guy is out there earning minimum wage to destroy the planet, one sidewalk at a time.

It's a tough world out there, people. Some of us are breaking concrete, and some of us are just trying to keep our balance on three-inch stilettos. And neither of us are getting enough sleep. Thank you, goodnight!